University Anarcho-Socialist Society Pledge To Get Ratted Every Night Of Lent

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Members of the Society of Anarcho-Socialists And Socialist Youth (SASSY) recently announced their plans for a response to the University Conservative and Unionist's declaration to go sober for the entirety of Lent to raise money for mental health charity CALM.

SASSY spokesperson, Phillipe Wazinski-Smith, announced the politically driven response at an unrelated "strike meeting" last Saturday night at Ma Bell's.

"THESE CAPITALIST STOOGES ARE USING THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES AS AN EXCUSE TO PROP UP THE EVIL DRINKS MULTI-NATIONALS LIKE COCA-COLA!" he bellowed into his megaphone inside the packed bar. "WE WILL RESPOND IN KIND!"

SASSY plans to spend the 40 day stretch drinking nothing but communally produced vodka, however insiders claim that in the event of sourcing issues they will settle for Ciroc or Grey Goose instead.

Article written by Jonathan Hewitt