Top 7 Spookiest St Andrews Halloween Costumes

After death, a combination bee-hive-wasp-nest, and that one time the editor printed my article with an embarrassingly obvious spelling mistake, Halloween is befinitely my number one fear. I mean, how are you supposed to decide on a costume?! Well, fear no more: here’s a list of, oh let’s say, 7 super spooky St Andrews-related costume ideas for you to wear this year.  

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1. My 9am tutorial

Freshers’ week is over and it’s finally time to check my emails. Oh wait, what’s this? Tutorial signup has been open for two whole hours? Let me just- oh, oh no. Every semester we tell ourselves we’ll be on the ball and sign up for tutorials early enough to get a good timeslot and not just a PhD student, but here I am again: stumbling to some cupboard with a Red Bull to talk about a text I didn’t read in a language I don’t understand.

2. The line outside any food place at 2:01am

If there’s anything better than hungrily standing in a room full of sweaty drunk people with dim lights then it’s hungrily standing in a room full of sweaty drunk people with bright lights while someone frantically shouts order numbers. Truly one of the spookiest parts of any night is rounding the corner onto Bell Street or whatever alley Empire is on and seeing half the students in this town waiting for a donner kebab even though they’re a vegetarian for moral reasons.

3. An Academic Alert

It is a well known fact that any communication from the University is either completely uninteresting or the worst news possible. This spooky costume definitely falls into the latter! Whether you genuinely forgot you had class or just neglected to write that self-certification when you snoozed your alarm for the fifth time, this baby is sure to ruin your day.

CUTE GROUP COSTUME IDEA:
You and your friends dress up as three academic alerts and the email telling you that you now can’t pass your module.

 4. That one Pablo that tipped you over the edge

We’ve all been there; things are going well, you’re in the Golden Zone, Mr Brightside is being played for the third time this evening. Then one of your mates ruins everything by having the audacity to suggest getting a Pablo. Of course I’ll get a Pablo, you fool. Or at least that’s what I assume happened because honestly I don’t remember much from that night.

5. Forgetting your notebook and pens at home

Um…yeah not really sure about this one to be honest. It did happen to me once though, and it was really awkward because I came in late as well so I had to sit in the front row. I managed to borrow a pen and write some stuff on an old bus ticket, but then at the end I remembered I had a phone I can take notes on, so that kind of sucked.

6. Someone who doesn’t care about stepping on the PH

We all know this person. Someone who throws caution to the wind, who’s too edgy to care about your stupid bourgeois traditions, who doesn’t respect the witchcraft of Patrick Hamilton. This person oozes charisma and an ‘I don’t care’ attitude. They’ll usually be followed around by a crowd of groupies who are in awe that someone would consider for even a moment making a protest this powerful and bold. Don’t even get me started on the person who carries their academic gown.

And there you have it, the definitive and comprehensive Top 7 Spookiest St Andrews Halloween Costumes. Hopefully now you can move past your fear of looking terrible and focus on the really scary things in life, like sleeping in the dark or miscounting the number of items on an important list.

 Written by Calum Esler