Top 6 Society Mailing Lists We Regret Signing Up For

We were only after some sweet freebies at the refreshers fair, but we’re still getting their emails 3 months later. Here are six societies which, after several unsubscribe requests, we wish we’d never shown the time of day…

1.       St. Andrews Science Inreach Society

Some science students like to try communicating their research to a wider audience. Not these fuckers. This society only meets with the kind of autodidactic Renaissance prick who is able to decipher their weekly abstract. Last week, we finally gave up trying to figure out the time and location of the meeting, which they’d written with chemical elements in binary.

2.       St. Andrews Simpsons Quote Correction Society

We love Homer Goes to College and can sing ‘Glove Slap’ as well as the next guy, but these guys are just too much. When they wrote us asking for our membership fee, we’d thought we’d be fun and replied: “if you want that money, come and get it, ‘cause I don’t know where it is, ya baloney!” Unfortunately the correct version reads “come and find it”, and we’ve never heard the end of it from these utter dicks.

3.       St. Andrews Japanese Fighting Cartoon Society

We just wanted one of your cool gachapon, guys. We haven’t really seen Ultimate Dragon Punch Master or Demon Kicker Jr., and we’re certainly not going to watch 300 hours of spluttering teenagers with pecs just to find out the plot is incredibly unfaithful to the source manga. Call us ‘baka desu’ all you want, we don’t care anymore.

4.       St. Andrews ‘I’m The Only One Who Knows About Neutral Milk Hotel’ Society

We don't have time to keep up with music anymore, but we’re happy that each member this 200 strong society gets to meet with friends on a weekly basis, safe in the knowledge that they are the only one who has ever heard ‘Holland, 1945’.

5.        St. Andrews Questionable Drama and Musical Society

This talented bunch of folks charmed us into a signup with an elaborate musical number. Sad to say, however, we’ve gotten tired of their audition calls for ‘The Dumb Minstrel Whore of Blackpool’ (a play we’re not even sure was socially acceptable when it debuted it 1867). Why not try some Harold Pinter next time, guys?

6.       St. Andrews Mailing List Society

We’re not even sure we actually signed up for this one, and we certainly don’t know how to get off it. Please stop, guys. We really can’t handle any more of these pointless updates.   

 

Article written by Bobby Innes