Taste Planning to Downscale

Taste café has revealed plans to branch out into dozens of even-smaller locations across St. Andrews.

To learn more, The Salvator spoke to the coffee shop’s spokesperson and apparent mascot: long since deceased Irish playwright Samuel Beckett.

 Beckett, the Colonel Sanders of the St. Andrews coffee scene, opened the business in 1980 whilst alive

 Beckett, the Colonel Sanders of the St. Andrews coffee scene, opened the business in 1980 whilst alive

"Taste began as an attempt to re-create, in a café setting, the anxiety and fear of isolation I’d already worked into my plays. That’s why you’re forced to drink your latte on a minuscule table with 3 other cack-babbling strangers.”

“Unfortunately it didn’t quite work, and people actually liked it. Probably because the coffee and food were accidentally good”. Beckett then carried on by mumbling about Dante in French, which was too hard to write down.

We asked the author when the changes could be expected. "It’s all mere discussion at present, but a couple of locations have already been plotted out… a clay pot…. an ashbin… a ditch… I also fancied setting one up inside a Deliveroo backpack, but that’s perhaps a bit too comfortable”.  

For their opinions on the move, we caught up with a couple of regular patrons: a generic woollen-clad man with nice hair, and a woman on two Macbooks at once. “I think it’s a great idea”, they said simultaneously. “Looking forward to more awkward hovering around waiting for a seat, and then having my spine shattered by the fridge door”.


Article written by Bobby Innes