“Taking acid really gave me self-awareness” says man unaware he’s boring entire party

Six minutes into a monologue about his multiple acid trips, St Andrews student Felix Carrington-Smith remarked that the latest experience had really given him a sense of self-awareness. This was greeted by muted nods from the party guests assembled in the Lamond Drive kitchen, although sources now confirm that everyone actually thought he was being a dickhead.


Mr Carrington-Smith, a second year IR student, has allegedly taken LSD twice in his life: first on a gap year trip to Amsterdam, then again at a music festival last month. He maintains that “everyone should try dropping at least once. It really, really gives you a better idea of who you are”. He also alleges he now knows himself much better than before, although sources close to Carrington-Smith have confirmed that he still has an over-inflated ego and an inability to read the vibe in the room. “I like Felix, but self-aware that man is not” said one student, who preferred to remain anonymous.

“We were just trying to duck out into the kitchen to talk about Infinity War”, said another party guest. “Then in walks Felix. I have no problem with him most of the time, but he always finds a way to get deep when the conversation has no need for it. We all just wanted to chat some shit, but he always tries to get people to talk about stars and the loving the universe and stuff.” When Carrington-Smith then brought up his new-found wisdom and self-awareness, witnesses observed multiple instances of suppressed giggles and amused eye contact. Felix, unsure what was so funny, apparently just joined in.

Salvator arranged for a reporter to interview Felix about his experience yesterday morning at Rector’s Café.

Updates to be provided when the interview has concluded.

Article written by Tom Caruth