In a move condemned as stressful and reckless, a Fourth year IR student was today seen sitting on the third floor of the library with what a witness has described as “way too fucking many” tabs open.
Operating Google Chrome on his 13-inch Macbook Pro, the unnamed student was seen furiously switching through potentially tens of tabs as he tried to find a single JSTOR article on postcolonial theory.
“I don’t know who he is, but he’s got some balls” said Library Staff member Louis Grant, “I mean his workload has to be doubled with all that clicking, right?”.
Another library-goer claimed that on several occasions the Fourth year “opened Facebook, scrolled aimlessly, changed tabs, checked an academic article, then opened a new Facebook tab without closing the first one. He took his earphones out for a second and I heard about seven simultaneous message pings for the one message. He’s a maniac!”
When reached for comment, Google stressed that Chrome, whilst a sophisticated browsing platform, simply isn’t designed to handle “way too fucking many” tabs. “We suggest maybe not doing your entire essay in a single sitting” Google wrote, “instead spreading it out over at least a few days, thus reducing the necessity for such excessive use of tabs”.
When the Salvator reached out to the student in question he began to type a reply to our email but got distracted. We believe this draft remains open on a tab sandwiched between a nearly complete game of 2048 and a youtube video of Bill Gates being awkward at the Windows 95 launch. We await his response eagerly.