It was announced today that no one was listening to a second year Modern History presentation. In room 0.02 in St Katherine’s Lodge, visibly nervous sub-honours student Kathy White quietly stumbled through a 15 minute speech, forgoing powerpoint for the power of rhetoric alone. Fellow students nodded along but, at the time of writing, it is still unclear what exactly the presentation was on. 

The Tutor in charge told Salvator he was planning on giving a 14.5 to the young girl for the presentation. “I dunno, Kathy seems nice” he said, before adding “I’ve been super swamped with my PhD at the moment, so I was actually thinking about Bavarian cloth distribution. But yeah, she looked like she was talking.” 

Students present at the tutorial were equally uncertain as to what the point of the presentation had been. When interviewed, confusion among the 10-strong group was evident; “I thought she was just repeating the word ‘rhubarb’ over and over again”, admitted one student, whilst another stated that “I thought my Monday night rager had caused me to develop tinnitus, it wasn’t until she stopped talking that my internal panic subsided”.

White, in response to the confusion, released a statement detailing the content of her presentation. In it, she said something about the Protestant Reformation. Maybe? Like that makes sense I guess. Whatever, it’s not in the exam and I’m not doing an essay on it so I really don’t care.