Reports have emerged that the Salvator, St Andrews’ New, Free, Online, Trustworthy, Reliable, and Free newspaper, is one too fucking many.

Concerns have arisen that there may be a slight saturation in the 600 year-old town’s media scene. The prospective student journalism bubble – no pun intended – reportedly began to expand in 1997, and has been teetering on the edge of a crash ever since.

Statistics expert and 1st year Maths student Ted Litworth confirms: “Yes, there are many student news sources in this town, however while most of them are completely unbiased, spell-checked, accurate, and chock-full of interesting articles, the town can only take so many excellent media outlets”.

As we can see from Ted's graphs (reproduced below), we are in a terribly dangerous position. Something’s got to give. Here’s lookin at you, The Saint.

Percent of St Andrews Student Newspaper Market Share

The little section is us.

Public Opinion of St Andrews News Publications

The little section is still us.