In fact, there is no such emergency! Four times now you have fallen for our ruses! This is decidedly a new fool record! We are in a state of complete foolstruckedness. Surely they will paint a picture of you in the Hall of Fools, the biggest picture in fact, denoting that you are the largest of the fools.
Chew soil, you wailing numbskull, for the name of ‘Fool’ will hang like a bad cloud over your head for the foreseeable present.