It’s that time of the year again! What better way to kick off the holiday season with Salvator’s new must-have album: Now That’s What I Call A Salvator Christmas. This triple-CD compilation is full of classic favourites and sure to get any party started. The essential Christmas album you’ll need to celebrate the festive season!
FEATURING THOSE FAMILY FAVOURITES...
1. Once in Royal David’s City stood a lowly cattle shed. With a queue of 1000 students to view it, the innkeeper exclaimed, "Jeez, the St Andrews student housing crisis is getting really desperate!”
2. All I want for Christmas is Euuuuuuu. The pound is falling, our diplomatic relationships are crumbling *screams uncontrollably*
3. I’m dreaming of a White Christmas, because St Andrews lacks diversity and minorities are significantly under-represented.
4. Baby it’s cold outside... but also inside too because heating costs extortionate prices that most students simply can’t afford.
5. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I’ve got you a £5 Ryman’s gift card instead because my student loan’s not come in yet and I’m broke.
6. Do you hear what I hear? What, shitheads talking on the silent section of the library? Show some goddamn respect to your 4th year elders.
7. Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, out of fear and a crippling existential feeling of dread.
8. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?”
“Will I get paid?” asked Rudolph.
Santa replied, “No, because the system for paid internships and work experience is deeply flawed, meaning students and young people can be easily exploited for cheap labour by corporate employers.”
9. What are you doing New Year’s Eve? Probably at sitting alone devouring Quality Street whilst watching Jools Holland, because to be honest it’s an overrated holiday and everyone secretly wants to stay in and curl up in the foetal position.
10. Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me; Been an awful good girl, Santa baby and hurry down the chimney tonight.Think of all the fun I've missed, think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed...because I don’t have a social life and haven't left my flat for weeks because exams are looming. Send help Santa, please.
And the all-time holiday classic, Fairytale of St Andrews:
I could have been someone..
Well so could anyone..
My tutor took my dreams from me, when he gave me a 2:2 and now I can’t get onto any of the graduate schemes or master’s courses I’ve applied to. I’m worried my parents might cut me off for being a disappointment.