Earlier today, it was announced that the University Court has selected Professor Sally Mapstone, specialist in Older Scots Literature and fellow of St. Hilda’s College, Oxford, to succeed Louise Richardson (the Salvator’s favourite agony aunt) as our Principal. However, not everyone is pleased. Two anonymous academics – a 56 year old English male, and a 58 year old English male, respectively – who were also in competition for the post have contacted the Salvator with official comments.

One told us that “It is outrageous that my academic achievements have been overshadowed by a female who, while at the forefront of her field, has wasted time trying to improve diversity and student support.”

The other said: “Has no one noticed that she is a female? The fact that two women have consecutively been Principal of St Andrews is a blow to diversity. A woman is almost as bad as a foreigner or a deviant. It is simply time for a well-informed and compassionate man, like myself, to try and help St Andrews develop for the modern world.”

At the end of our interview one of them, our reporter can’t really remember which one, muttered something about hysteria, and “This would never have happened when we had the empire”.

Food for thought, indeed.