How To Be Scottish In St. Andrews
1. Give detailed travel advice to all international students. Pretend you’ve visited the Highlands even though the furthest north you’ve been is Aberdeen.
2. Accept that your accent will change and your friends from home will say you’ve turned posh. Avoid saying words that expose your Scottish accent, and never become friends with someone called Carl.
3. In contrast to the previous point - use Scots words to charm your new American friends. Give your friends cute new nicknames, like numptie and bawbag.
4. Use those compulsory Scottish dancing lessons that tarnish your fond memories of primary school to your advantage. There are on average 47 ceilidhs held in St Andrews each week.
5. Boast that you can spell ceilidh without spellcheck.
6. Go overboard on 'national traditions'; nobody needs to know that no-one in Scotland celebrates St. Andrew’s Day, or that haggis is super gross.
7. Act as a translator, and mediator, between locals and students.
8. Wonder if you only got accepted to St. Andrews so that they could meet their Scottish students quota (shoutout to the Fifers).
9. Play up the Scottish stereotype and drink every night, convincing yourself that Buckfast and White Lightning aren’t disgusting.
10. Thank the SNP gods that you don’t have to pay tuition fees.
Article written by Emily Sherriff