Freshers' Week Horoscopes

The start of the academic year - whether you are a new or returning student - can be an intimidating time, and it's often difficult to know what to expect. Fortunately, St Andrews' most reliable astrologers know exactly what is in store for you this Freshers' Week. 

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Aries

If you enter Club 601, proceed with caution. The floors are not the only sticky situation you could find yourself in. Plus, you’ll almost definitely lose your jacket. Your lucky drunk food is chips and gravy.

Taurus

The pier is a good place to reflect, but it’s also a good place to get attacked by seagulls. It’s really up to you to decide if the wistful aesthetic is worth the potential trauma. Your lucky drunk food is half a pint of ice cream.

Gemini

A chance meeting with someone from David Russell Apartments could change your life – but only if you’re willing to commit to the walk. A broken bicycle might be the answer to all of your questions. Your lucky drunk food is chicken nuggets.

Cancer

It might be a good idea to invest in a membership for the uni gym, as treadmills bode extremely well for you right now. Make sure to stock up on bread, the only snack you’ll ever need. Your lucky drunk food is – you guessed it – bread.

Leo

Life is fleeting – make the most of it and enjoy the sight of Albany Park while you still can. You may be approached by someone from your past, but they should be avoided at all costs – it could be necessary to take on a new identity. Your lucky drunk food is a packet of Monster Munch.

Virgo

While you may not like your flatmates now, it is important to nurture positive relationships as they could become some of the most important people in your life. After all, they should certainly be able to provide an alibi for you if you need one. Your lucky drunk food is chips, cheese, and curry sauce.

Libra

The colour green could be either extremely positive or extremely negative for you right now, and it’s impossible to tell which. Either avoid open grassy spaces, or spend a lot of time in them – it’s really going to be a case of trial and error. Your lucky drunk food is more alcohol.

Scorpio

Surround yourself with positive people, even if only to remind you how much you enjoy your own negative company. Avoid Market Street at all costs – Tesco appears to be a particularly dangerous place for you this week. Your lucky drunk food is one carrot.

Sagittarius

Let whatever is on tap at Brewco guide your decisions this Freshers’ Week. This can’t turn out any worse than your normal decision-making process anyway. Your lucky drunk food is a pie from the vending machine.

Capricorn

You change your mind as often as the Vic changes its menu. This wouldn’t be an issue if not for the ominous shadows that gather in increasing numbers every time you fail to commit. Your lucky drunk food is a kebab.

Aquarius

While your life seems like a dilapidated ruin currently, it certainly isn’t the worst in St Andrews – just look at the cathedral. You’ll fit right in! Your lucky drunk food is chips and cheese.

Pisces

The comforting blue and yellow of the Aldi logo could help ease any homesick feelings. The cheap 2 litre bottles of cider might help as well, while you’re there. Your lucky drunk food is dry cereal.