DRA Path Cyclist Picked To Star In New Fast and Furious Film

The DRA footpath 10 minutes before lectures

The DRA footpath 10 minutes before lectures


In local showbiz news, St Andrews has found itself hosting a Hollywood star, even though the Dunhill Open has left town!

Second year DRA resident Brent Jerksworth has been picked to star alongside Vin Diesel in the upcoming movie Fast and Furious 9: F9: F&9F: Fate of the Fasterer and the Furiouserer 9er after being spotted by a major Hollywood director while hurtling down the shared access path between DRA and Melville at top speed.

Some lucky DRA residents might recognise Brent from that moment every single day when they barely notice the quiet Doppler shift of his wheels streaking towards them in time to react just a split second before he blazes past at full speed.

Movie producer Chaz Chazholm spoke to The Salvator about his find:

“You don’t find a stunt driver of Brent’s calibre every day. The stuff I saw him do was mind-blowing. Despite being at top speed on a windy day, paying more attention to his music than the road ahead, and not even keeping one hand on the handlebars while chugging his beverage, he managed to just barely avoid causing two out of a group of three students severe and debilitating injuries that could end their academic careers or lives! It was the kind of amazingly skillful driving and lack of awareness of consequences that you usually only get to see on the silver screen! Anyone who handles a vehicle like that around other human beings belongs either in jail or in the world’s best series of inconsistently numbered and named vehicular action movies”.

The Salvator caught up with a couple of Brent’s biggest local fans to see how they feel about losing their hero to Tinseltown:

“I only encountered Brent once, but he really left an impression on me!”, said third year Emma Jones. “You can still see the impression of his tire marks up each of my vertebrae!”

Fourth year Steven Fitch told us; “Brent will be sorely missed by everyone who glimpsed him momentarily as he suddenly shot by within inches of them on the way to town. Not everyone can cycle with that same recklessness and total lack of regard for the lives of his fellow students that Brent did, but I’ve got a feeling there’s at least a couple of people out there who’ll do their very best to uphold his legacy. I nearly got mown down from behind by two separate people hurtling down the slope down by the physics building the other night, which gave me a nice familiar feeling”.

At the time of press, Brent is on the set of Fast and Furious 9, following which he will take up the lead role in Ghost Rider 3: Cyclepathic Tendencies.