Archive

Enjoy some classic Salvator articles from past years. 

Scintillating on-topic stories about the people, places, and things which are happening out and about in the world. Do they get you jazzed? Do they get your goat? Do they get your goat jazzy? Keep checking in for more funky journalism from the hottest presses in town.


Hamish Sculptor Embroiled in New Controversy

The famed sculptor of St Andrew's best loved kitty has attracted much negative attention recently...


St A Deliveroo Driver in Critical Condition 

As deliveries spike this Valentine's Day, many Deliveroo drivers are struggling under pressure.


Students Rejoice After Dervish Reopens

Scenes of joy and celebration erupted on Bell Street after St Andrews' beloved kebab stop reopened for business


Student Abandons Civilization To Live In Library Safe Pod

Since last week, a Mr. Henry Brookes has reportedly been living in solitude in the Library’s Safe-pod. Mr. Brookes was discovered last week hiding in the pod by a member of staff...


Christmas Album Release: Now that's what I call a Salvator Christmas!

It’s that time of the year again! What better way to kick off the holiday season with Salvator’s new must-have album. This triple-CD compilation is full of classic favourites and sure to get any party started. The essential Christmas album you’ll need to celebrate the festive season!


American Students Perplexed by Lack of Daylight & Cold 

With Refresher’s Week now underway, University officials and the Met Office are issuing warnings to keep a close eye on students making comments regarding the hours of daylight, temperature, and weather conditions in a bid to suppress the annual phenomenon. 


University Encourages Men Immunisation

All new entrant students under the age of 25 are being advised to seek the Men. ACWY vaccine before enrolment at University and take this opportunity to protect themselves.

More info below:


Student Expelled After Not Sharing League Table Results on Facebook

It has just been confirmed that yet another student has been expelled from St Andrews for refusing to flaunt recent league table results on Facebook and Twitter. See what the Uni had to say...


Student Has Too Many Fucking Tabs Open

In a move condemned as stressful and reckless, a Fourth year IR student was today seen sitting on the third floor of the library with what a witness has described as “way too fucking many” tabs open...


SABB Suffers Mid Job Crisis Before Union Gig

DOES Chris McRae suffered a “mid-job crisis” before the performance of grime artist Wiley on the last night of Refresher’s week.


Marvel Announce Louise Richardson Reboot

Amid much excitement, Marvel today announced that they would be rebooting Louise Richardson. Production is to begin this Spring.


First Year IR Rep Elected President Of The U.S.A

With an overwhelming majority, First Year IR class rep Jonathan Schuyler Barakat has been elected as the 45th President of the U.S


 


Concrete Twatwalk Announce New Models

Do you live and breathe fashion? Do you wear clothes everyday? Then this is the wanky fashion show for you!


Meet the Most Inspiring Student Leaders

Look upon them in all their glory and bask in it - do you have what it takes to become a student leader? 


Shower Of Sporty Twats Spotted In Union

Rumours are circulating that there could quite possibly be a Sports event on in the union due to a large shouty group in the bar.


Christmas Cancelled After Santa's Death

Lapland elves have just released a statement confirming the death of  the one and only Santa Claus. Mr. Kringle reportedly had been battling a severe case of “2016”...


Epidemic: Britons Suddenly Compelled to Watch Love Actually

The United Kingdom breathed a collective sigh of relief this week, as the dawning of the winter holiday season allowed the population to turn its attention toward the true reason for the season: an excuse to watch Love Actually. Find out more about this latest epidemic here...


Union Considers Proposal To Buy Lizard Lounge

In a move towards making St Andrews Student Union a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Salvator can report a proposal is currently being considered by the Union to buy and reinstall the Lizard Floor in Club 601.

More info below:


Fashion: Last Minute Hallowe'en Costumes

If you've waited until the day before Halloween to pick a costume, don't worry, there's still time to assemble the perfect look. These ideas are simple, inexpensive and are quick to DIY. Be sure to look spook-tacular!


Breaking News: Arts Students Declared Unemployable By Science Student

Last night as a result of an uncontested debate in the Student Union by an unnamed science student, it was decreed that Arts students were no longer, nor seemingly have ever been, employable in any way,


Prospective Student Makes Grave Error

A prospective student, visiting St Andrews for the first time yesterday, has reportedly been fooled by the random spell of sunshine we’re currently experiencing...

 


Nobody Listens To Sub-Honours Presentation

It was announced today that no one was listening to a second year Modern History presentation. Wow.

 


'Mythbusters' To Film New Series At DRA

The team from hit TV series "MythBusters" reportedly gathered at David Russell Apartments last weekend to begin shoot


Other Guys Severely Injured By Falling Piano

In what has been described as a “near-tragic accident”, several members of The Other Guys, have been injured by a falling piano.



Ghost Sightings Reported During Election Week

Multiple sightings of one of St Andrews' ghosts of elections past, present, and future are being reported across town...


Dramatic Valentines Incident on Church Square

 Reports are flooding in of an incident involving an elderly relative and a female undergraduate in Church Square...


FS Cancelled Due To Meteorological Mishap

FS Committee announce show is cancelled due to unforeseen weather conditions and for the safety of guests. But who caused this??


Fashion: Christmas Ball 2016

There are Mermaids everywhere. What's this? There's panic in the air. What's this? I can't believe my eyes. I must be dreaming. Wake up Salvator, this isn't fair. What's this?! It's Christmas Ball!


Last Minute Surprise Act announced for Presidential Inauguration 

Donald Trump's inauguration party has already been riddled with controversy, with many high profile stars including Elton John and Moby, allegedly being asked to perform, only to publicly reject the offer. But this morning, a surprise new act confirmed he would be performing...


An American's Guide To Thanksgiving

In an attempt to raise American cultural awareness abroad, here’s the Salvator's definitive guide of what to expect during one of America’s most beloved holidays. 

 

Let's begin...


Amazing: These Stock Images Of Businessmen Completely Sum Up The Student Experience

Don't ask, just click. 

 

 

 


Breaking News: Infamous St Andrews Lizard Lounge Closing For Business

Earlier this week it was announced St Andrews’ infamous Lizard Lounge bar and discotheque would be closing. The announcement was met with worldwide outrage and is being described as a “huge loss” for the reptilian community...


Proctor To Undergo Plagiarism Training

In a dramatic sequence of events, the St Andrews Proctor has publically apologised for email-subject-line-gate, indeed one of the biggest controversies to hit St Andrews this year...


Mermaids Christmas Ball 2015 Cancelled

In a move that has left many St Andrews students shocked and devastated, Oliver Cromwell has cancelled Mermaids Annual Christmas Ball.


602 Ball Condemned As Absolute Failure

St Andrews' Fellowship are facing serious allegations, as attendees of last night’s bash are left wondering: was this really a ball?


Record Breaking Silence Achieved In Seminar

Renowned scientists  have just announced a new record for the longest silence in human history.


 


George Osborne Appointed Saint Editor

Since Brexit, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer has been hard up. Luckily, the Saint has got his back.


DONT WALK Confirms C-Word Rumours

St Andrews' coveted Fashion Show has just released a statement confirming controversial rumours...


Betsy Devos Announces St Andrews' Inspired Reform

Recently appointed Education Secretary is borrowing reform  inspiration from a St Andrews group.


New Director For Planet Earth II

In an unusual but altogether unsurprising executive decision, HBO have announced that they have chosen to replace George R.R. Martin as the writer of the highly popular ‘Earth’ series, but who?


Breaking News: Barron Theatre Faces Urgent Rebranding

The iconic Barron Theatre of South Street is seeking a new name. It is the job of a special committee representing Mermaids to rebrand the town’s best loved student theatre. A decision should be reached shortly. But why change the name now? 

 


Salvator's Monthly Bullshit Horoscopes

Do you want to know if you'll scrape that 2:1?

Got a library crush, but don't know what the stars have in store for your love life?

Never fear, consult the Salvator's guide to understanding your horoscope...


Shocking: See What Hillary Was Really Writing During The Final Debate

NSFW. Some younger Salvator readers may want to close their eyes now...

 

 


Salvator's Official Guide To Halls of Residence 2016

In no particular order, our expert analysis of the student halls of residence. If any questions that you have are not answered, check out the University's accommodation page for actual real information.

 


Principal Appointment Criticised By Unsuccessful Candidates

Earlier today, it was announced that the University Court has selected Professor Sally Mapstone would succeed Louise Richardson...


The Rise Of The St Andrews Student Journalism Crisis

Reports have emerged that the Salvator, St Andrews’ New, Free, Online, Trustworthy, Reliable, and Free newspaper, is one too fucking many.


Students Disappointed At Number Of Italian Restaurants

Students have come together to express their disappointment over the lack of Italian restaurants in St Andrews.


Sinner Editor Named 15th Richest Person In Sunday Times

Just amazing. Congratulations to St Andrews only satirical news source.