6 Things To Blast When Your Neighbours Are Going At It

For many students, university is their first time living away from the home of their parents, finally giving them the chance to discover ‘The Bone Zone’. It’s natural and understandable, but that doesn’t excuse the all-too-frequent blatant disregard for those living around them who are just trying to work on an essay, make themselves some lunch, or try not to think too hard about seeing the long-term effects of climate change in their lifetime. So if you’re unlucky enough to be cursed with such inconsiderate neighbours, here are some things you can turn up while they’re getting down.

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1. Les Misérables: In Concert at the Royal Albert Hall (1995)

Who doesn’t love a good musical? Your mind and ears alike will enjoy the sweet melodies of this dream cast 10th anniversary production of the haunting tragedy. Unfortunately, unlike the titillating musical Chicago, your neighbours might have a hard time keeping the mood to this one. Unless the sounds of poverty and heartbreak get them going.

2. 10-hour loop of Seth Rogen laughing (available on youtube.com)

Comedian and actor Seth Rogen, known for his work in Superbad and nothing else, has a very distinct and lovable laugh which can be very soothing in trying times. And bonus, your neighbours can’t fail to love it while they’re trying to get nasty. Nothing says ‘harder daddy’ like the hearty chortle of Seth Rogen - now you can be ‘Bad Neighbors’ too!

3. All two hours of the Nixon Tapes

You’ll be swapping one ‘Tricky Dick’ for another with these fun and fresh audio recordings! They’re the best that 1970 had to offer, in that they are full of static and indiscernible dialogue you’d need to study for years to understand – perfect white noise to block out your neighbours’ own private Watergate scandal. 

 4. It’s a Small World by the Disneyland Children’s Chorus

Written in 1964 by the Devil himself, this very peppy, very repetitive song with get stuck in everyone’s head for the rest of the day, guaranteed to drown out and potentially even stop your neighbors in their tracks. There’s something so wholesome about a bunch of seven year olds singing about unity in different tongues that makes it a challenge to stay in the mood.

5. Maya Angelou’s 1992 Commencement Address at Spelman College

The famous poet and civil rights activist graced the 1992 graduating class of Spelman College with her beautiful, lyrical poetry and inspiration. Her voice is like honey, but not the kind you want to have sex to. It’s the kind of honey that makes you rethink what it means to be Human. But who knows? Maybe that’s what your neighbours were looking for all along. 

6.  Schindler's List

If your neighbours continue to fuck while Schindler’s List is on, you are allowed by law to break down their door and beat them up.

Written by Sara Clark