Candidates for DoRep
Hazel is a second year, and while her lack of experience may seem to be a weakness in her campaign, her #KY16Represent tagline reveals her as the person with the highest Yakarma in attendance at the University. As everyone knows, high Yakarma can only be gained by one who does not need experience to thrive. Hazel should be known to students for her Yaks so full of #banter we can’t help but relive her top three: (1) ’Just got walked in on by my roommate whilst practising my Jar-Jar Binks walk #boredom’ (2) ’Praise be for hot water bottles!’ (3) ’What was PatMat’s question to Hazel yesterday?’. Keep it up Hazel, we can’t wait to hear what you have to Yak as the week goes on.
Jack will be familiar to many from his campaign for DoRep this time last year. However, last year all of Jack’s body was campaigning for the position, while in 2016 it is only ‘Jack’s Back for DoRep’. The post-election analysis from last year revealed that students took umbrage with Jack’s legs, arms, belly button, and eyebrows. It is very refreshing to see a candidate take on board such criticism and nominate just his back for the role. His back is famous for appearing in the background of the 2013 Prospectus cover and quite frankly if it achieve similar levels of popularity again, Jack’s Back will have no problem in this election. It has been argued by his competitors that it would be unfeasible for just a back to do the work of DoRep, but it’s just that kind of closed-minded attitude that a DoRep has to fight. It seems that Jack’s Back needs as many students as possible behind him.
Candidates for AU President
Ben is in a good position for this election season, having spent the last year as Athletic Union Treasurer. This means that he has been the keeper of the AU’s Zurich bank vault, rumoured to contain illegally procured gold, 40g of the purest opiate known to man, and a black briefcase of unknown contents. Surprisingly, Ben’s management of such resources does not show him to be a man of avarice, but rather a sensible fiscal manager who has guided the AU through a period of redevelopment. Ben’s ‘Ready. Steady. Peddie.’ campaign might be one of the best this year, because it’s about sport, and it rhymes and stuff, which seems appropriate. We are sure Ben could do whatever the AU president does, so vote for him to keep that weird out-of-the-way Exam Hall in tip-top condition.